March 7, 2003

Why do u like beef, cause I love beef.

- carmi-Barfin_Baby

Dear carmi,

Why yes, yes I love Beef, because to love Beef is to love myself, as I am Beef. It is important to love oneself, though not always easy.

We all go through moments when we're not so happy with ourselves, and sometimes even hate ourselves. This can be tied to many reasons, including physical appearance, beliefs, lack of drive, sexual performance or lack thereof, lack of self-confidence, a bad haircut, poor work performance or driving skills, taste in movies or music, body odor, parental or peer influence, gassy bean chili, otters, the Aurora Borealis, German chocolate cake, pet dander, the war on drugs, sushi, the inability to make proper origami and dust-covered tape.

To overcome all obstacles and accept one's faults and quirks and otters on the road to self-love is reward in itself. Only then can a person be truly happy. That and being in a jacuzzi full of butterscotch pudding with a frisky Keanu Reeves and, oh, sorry?

Yah, so, uh, I love me...and so should you!

Dear Dr. Beef,

So…how much do you charge for a 30 minute session?

- b

A 30-minute session of what?

- Dr. Beef

© 2003, All images, text and design, except where noted, property of Contains images copyright of and
Any use without permission strictly prohibited.